Santa with Muscles
November 23, 2016
Imagine it… 2am Christmas morning and Santa kicks down your front door, tears off his shirt, leaves you some presents, eats a mince pie, smashes somebody in the face with a steel chair and then leaves. It’s Ho Ho Hogan, Brother!
Everyone loves getting in the Christmas spirit aroung the holidays so you’ll need a special movie to satisfy that holiday craving: Santa with Muscles, the 1996 starring Hulk Hogan! A silly fogotten film that has to be good for at least a few laughs.
In recent years we’ve seen plenty of WWE wrestlers make the transition to questionable acting careers, but many people forget that a handful of the popular ’80s wrestlers had significant roles on the big screen as well. Andre the Giant played Fezzik in The Princess Bride, for example, and Roddy Piper was in John Carpenter’s They Live. Then there’s Hulk Hogan, who had a respectable performance as Thunderlips in Rocky III, before going on to headline two family comedies in the early ’90s: Suburban Commando and Mr. Nanny. He then continued onto The Secret Agent Club, The Ultimate Weapon and Thunder in Paradise 1, 2 and 3. Somewhere in there, he also found time to make Santa with Muscles.
Hogan plays Blake Thorne, a millionaire who has built an empire selling bodybuilding supplements. One day, while on the way to play paintball with his buddies, he drives a little bit recklessly in his Hummer and ends up getting chased by the cops. He heads to the local mall, where he ducks inside a storage closet and changes into a Santa costume in order to avoid detection. Unfortunately for him, he ends up getting a bump on the head and wakes up with amnesia, where a crooked mall elf named Lenny recognizes him and tricks him into thinking that he is actually Santa Claus.
Now, an evil scientist (played by Ed Begley, Jr.) is trying to take over an orphanage (an orphanage that houses just three children, mind you) in order to gain access to the vault of magical crystals underneath it. He dispatches a team of three goons to tear the place down: a geologist, a woman with electrical powers, and a chemist. Blake becomes a superhero Santa of sorts in an attempt to save the orphanage.
This movie may not be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s perfect to get the family in the holiday mood!